here we go

Okay, so I have been reading a ton of other blogs, okay maybe not a ton, but one really amazing blog all the way back to the beginning of time. Okay, maybe not the beginning of time but the beginning of the blog and I was struck by www.theredneckmommy.com 's Tanis who must be one of the most resilient human beings on the planet and while I was reading it, I realized I am pretty fucking resilient myself. Also, she is really funny. Yeah, me I am not really that funny even though I was voted best sense of humor for one of my yearbooks. But it was a tie between me and someone else and since I worked on the yearbook committee and the other person didn't I won. Well, maybe that is not the best way to start a blog by announcing I may have totally stolen an election when I was a freshman in HS, but considering how freaking mean people were to me then, I think I had it coming. Anyway...

I was reading about Tanis the redneck mommy and thinking how crappy her fucking life was and I realized mine was at least as crappy as that and I really hadn't done much to change it, so I decided I SHOULD WRITE A BLOG too. 'Cause apparently it worked out really well for her and well, maybe it could work out well for me - though I really don't want to live in Buttfark Alberta Canada. I would really rather not live in the north at all but here I am.

So, you may wonder how on earth I could compare my miserableness to a woman whose 4 year old child died and I would agree that really fucking sucks, SERIOUSLY. But as I am sure she would agree there are all kinds of misery and I think it was Carol Burnett who said comedy is tragedy plus time, so maybe I will occasionally bring the funny accidentally, even though she (and by she I mean Tanis the redneck mommy, NOT Carol Burnett) means to bring the funny when she talks about her boobs and dildos and her dead little boy. 'Cause my GAWD if you don't find the funny eventually you just shrivel up and die. I can totally attest to that! I have nearly done it. Really. Over and Over. 'Cause I have a hard time with the funny.

Mostly I am going to let this blog be my stream of consciousness blog. Miz Reenie Neal taught us that in High School and I haven't done it in a really long time. Maybe I will get the funny, or maybe Poetry will pop out of my head and land on my blog - that would be nice since I haven't been able to write poetry since well, it's been a long time. And we will get to the stories of my misery eventually, but tonight, I am just getting started with a few basics.

For now let's suffice it to say, nope, I haven't had a kid die on me. Instead, I will eventually tell you about my son Chandler who is not dead but who I have not been allowed to see for 7 years now. I will also tell you about my mom who did die on me and my older and younger sister and the long drawn out story of that struggle. I will probably tell you all about being in a mental hospital or two and how that totally sucks the big weenie not to mention makes it hard to convince folks you aren't crazy when really you are, a little bit. And finally I will talk about making it through all this fucking shit in my life and ending up living with an ex girlfriend, sharing a dog and a cat and doing paperwork for a dog rescue and canning tomatoes and cukes for the first time in my life and whatever else I end up doing to keep from falling off the edge of the sanity couch.

Oh and I will probably talk a lot about politics. How I roll- serious lefty-and what pisses me off about the right wing nut jobs who make up lies that other people are completely willing to believe. Okay, maybe that will be where I start, but I need to start tomorrow because I have totally got to go to sleep now even though I had that cup of coffee at 4 pm which I SHOULDN'T have done.